My Soul Mate Left Me... 5 Awesome Perks For A Temporarily Single Mum

Reflections By

Recently I wrote an article about 5 Survival Tips For A Temporarily Single Mum. And while it sometimes feels like solo mums are in survival mode there has certainly been some perks I have discovered.


Once again, I am no expert on this solo mum thing, and I have a new profound respect for those that do it permanently, but in my currently lonely position here’s what I found that has been a little bit of an added bonus while he’s been gone.

1) Eat Well

Some people wallow in depression when their soul mate disappears. I have decided to be a skinny Minnie and surprise his socks off. I’ve brought only healthy foods, I’m spending a lot of time at home eating well, which hasn’t happened at all in the last 574 days of travel. My husband is no longer there suggesting takeaway for dinner, or eating at a restaurant or luring me into temptation – I have only myself to think about and it’s easier to do it right.

2) Sleep In The Middle Of The King Size Bed

One of the perks of coming back to Australia has been the thought of my comfy king size bed. And now that I am in it alone I am actually over the moon. I sleep in the middle, spread out. I can’t decide which bedside lamp to use, but I’ve been leaning towards his side just because it’s his.


3) Get A Cleaner Cause You Can’t Do It All Yourself

Not that I needed any excuse before, but now more then ever Josh has agreed I have a handful of kids to look after and I need help. In comes the cleaner. She’s been a lifesaver and if one thing can ever make a single mum’s job much easier it’s not having to mop the floor after every dinner or fix up the toy room that consistently looks like a bomb exploded.

4) Accept Help

When my sister asked if I would like her to stay with me for a month, I was over the moon. The last time I lived with my youngest sister was 1999, before I moved to London and before I got married. I am so excited to be having her stay and help out, and without Josh leaving, I would have never had this chance.


5) See Your Best Friend As Much As You Want

After 19 months away I have missed spending time with my girlfriends and now there is no time limit on how much I can see them. I can even have a sleep over! My husband is a wonderfully understanding man, however I am constantly thinking about him and how much I need to spend time with him as well, trying to balance my social side with my relationship. All of a sudden I have no one wondering when I am coming home.

I miss Josh more then I can say, but I thrive on an optimistic personality and have found that these 5 steps have made life most enjoyable while Josh is away. Of course I secretly hope he has found zero perks to not having me or the kids around, but I can imagine he has more than 5 by now.


Reader Comments...

"I respond to every comment by direct private email. I look forward to your feedback" -

I have more! It's easier to handle the kids sometimes without another adult around to talk to, they get your full attention and that's good. You can go to bed early, or late, or whenever, I usually have at least 1 child in bed with me and no smelly sports kit to launder!

Alyson Dec 30th, 2013

Write Your Comment